Updates

So its 4:50 am Saturday morning and I’m sitting here just listening to this 50 mph wind. I’m thinkin, I’ve come a long way in less than a year. So much so that I feel damn confident in my ability to completely amaze an audience. Recently, I’ve been testing a lot of things out, performance wise, and I now have a live show that will win you over, guaranteed. Next step, take this show on the road and try to get spots opening up for major acts coming through my city.

Right now I’m working on some acoustic stuff that will also be incorporated into my live show depending on the crowd/genre and I’m still getting way better at playing the piano. I’m actually ready to start production on the new album asap. Before that though I’m going to shoot a music video for my song Silver Lining, its probably my favorite song off of the album which, by the way you can purchase here  https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-end-of-everything/id814226980 

The Silver Lining video may be the last video I shoot on that album but I don’t know yet for sure. I can tell you that it will be a hugely epic, ridiculous video and it will be my most entertaining and engaging video so far, with some surprises.

Also, I’ve been making some final upgrades to the studio and, well, all I can say is that the next album will be biblical. I still really want to do a cover for youtube. Who knows, from now till the time I start production on the next album I’ve got some time to catch up on a few things but what I really need is for you guys to tell your friends about me. The only thing standing between me and a somewhat sustainable “career” is exposure. Please tell your friends about me, wherever you are I will come out there and give you the greatest show of your life. 

Stick with me.

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So, what really sucks about this career, this business, for me is that If I were to stop this second, nothing would happen. No one would notice. No one would care. All of the sacrifices I’ve made, the time I’ve put in, the tens of thousands of dollars I’ve spent, would all be for nothing. That right there makes me go harder every day because if not, its the end of everything for me.

One of the main reasons that no one would notice is because only a handful of people have heard my music. I’m doing what I can to change that but with no real friends or family to be here with me in the beginning its going to take a lot more hustle on my part. And yes I really do have social anxiety issues. It sucks, I hate being around people, I feel like I cant breath and its just shitty. I think I’m starting to get over it though, out doing shows has really made being “shy” not an option.

1 in 200 million. As a rapper, that’s where I’m at in the underground. Those are my odds and that’s “just” rap. Consider all genres and my odds are 1 in 600 million. Luckily for me about 99% of all these other “rappers” sound just like someone else. I’ve chosen to be different as hell. I could have some generic ass flow and use some generic ass beats but I’ve decided to be weird as fuck. I’m in good company though, don’t forget about some of the great weirdos of our time; Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Eminem(early). I’m gonna stop that list there, I think I proved my point with Marilyn Manson and Eminem.

Anyways. If you’re reading this, I need you. I need your help and support. Be my fan. Be my friend. If you want to see a different side of music like I do then take my hand and come with me on this journey. If you wanna see how far the limits can be pushed then stick with me. If you wanna see what music would be like if someone broke all the rules then be here with me as I do it. If you’re tired of the shit they play, together we can change it. Together we can show the world something it didn’t know could exist. Stick with me.

#DFUOB6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyL-EJDB-CI

Yea. Just finished my Funk Volume contest entry. From the time I decided to do it, till I finished making the video was like 48 hours(pretty fast). I hate doing contests but I’m glad everyone talked me into doing this one, I had a lot of built up aggression I needed to get rid of.

Doing this song and video I realized that if I DIDN’T make my own music/instrumentals/beats, I could be putting out a new album every MONTH! WITH videos. But, everyone else’s beats suck. Oh and just so you know, I haven’t started production on the new album yet because I’m taking a few private piano/keyboard lessons. Until now I’ve just been playing everything by ear. My new instrumental/beat production will be undeniable.

In case anyone has trouble knowing wtf is going on in the video, that IS Justin Bieber before he was famous in one of his youtube videos and I mention being frustrated as hell(hulk scene) working my ass off and he got the world on a silver spoon from his youtube cover songs.

The robbery scene actually happened in my hometown last week and whenever I saw it I felt like, damn I know I would never do anything like that but I am desperate as fuck. I hope I never do that, that video doesn’t show the guy outside of the restaurant who is still in critical condition in the hospital from getting beat so bad with a bat. I’m not gonna lie, when I saw that video on the news I was like fuck. That could be me, I would never do that, would I? What the hell is goin on with that guy. How could he be that desperate. I wouldn’t fuck up my whole life for something like that, no matter what kind of trouble I was in. All I know is I don’t wanna be that guy but I do feel like I could do some shit like that sometimes, you know?

Oh, theres a Milli Vanilli clip and if you don’t know, they were one of the first artists who got caught lip syncing at a live performance. Actually, before them, people had no idea that artists were lip syncing on stage. While I do use lowered backing vocals for choruses only I don’t believe in singing along with a track which is something a lot of rappers do. That’s why that clip is in there when I say, “That’s why when you perform live, your shit is fuckin dubbed.”

The rest is pretty self explanatory, second verse expresses my state of disapproval for how some underground “rappers” are doing business with no regard to the state of the industry climate. But it wouldn’t matter anyways because all of these other guys sound the same haha. Of course 2 chains had to be mentioned. So yea, I’ll be the one to kick you when you’re down.

I love you guys, I do this for you, because I have to. Thank you for your support.FVcontest2pic

The first day.

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Alright. So I started playing the guitar when I was 13, I played every second of every day till I was about 18. I played a lot of new metal, Papa Roach, Avenged Sevenfold, System of A Down, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Blink 182 and tons more. I loved it but I always wanted more. Anyways, I quit playing the guitar when I enlisted and left for the Air Force in 2006. I never quit loving music and that’s pretty much all I thought about, ever.

In 2011, I had been out of the Air Force for a few months and I had lost everything. Along with getting out, I got a divorce, I felt like I was losing my kids and I was just in a really bad place. And one day in the summer of 2011 I started spitting verses out of no where. It just came out. All my anger, all my hate, the longing to die, it just all came out.

I didn’t do anything with “rap” but I kept writing and it really saved my life, I cleaned up got back on my feet, got my kids back in my life and I started going to school, all while still writing all the time. The flow was magical. I started pushing myself harder in school and started writing less and less until I decided to not worry about “rapping” and focus on school for a while.

I had been a Hopsin fan for a long time and in the middle of the fall 2012 semester he put out his Ill Mind 6. I was doing really well in school but when I saw Ill Mind 6 I was hit with every feeling I could be hit with. I thought, damn this guys rapping about lazy ass “shithead” members of society and putting out a positive message, a lot of things I felt the same way about. So while I was kinda discouraged that he was kinda saying something that I might also say, I realized that I have something else to say and I would say it from the point of view of a grown ass man not some kid who’s lived in his moms house all his life. That night I’m pretty sure I didn’t get any sleep. All kinds of thoughts were going through my head and feelings of needing to do something.

Within a day I had decided that I have a story and a message to give. Not only do I have something to say but I knew I could create a style that would be different than anybody has heard. So the day after I saw Ill Mind 6 I wrote “Introduction,” made a beat, recorded it and uploaded it to youtube. It sucked because I sucked at making beats, (it was my first time) and I hadn’t “rapped” or written in 5 or 6 months. But I hade drive now. I was inspired. I thought if Hopsin could do it then I could do it. The bar was set. My career had started. I had taken the first step and that was the first day. 

Gotta be heard

I feel underrated as fuck. I’ve bled for this, I’ve lied for this and I hope I never kill for this. If people haven’t heard of me of course its my fault, I should be hustling harder to get my music out there. Am I in over my head? Maybe, theres more artists that can be listened to, too many. So why do I do it? Not only do I fight an uphill battle but I’ve also chosen to make my music weird as fuck. I don’t really fit into a genre or musical “fad.” I just wanna make something amazing. Something you haven’t heard before and something that I really feel. I write about what I really hate, what really pisses me off, how bad I wanna end shit at times. This isn’t happy ass party rap. This is hip hop, this is poetry, feelings. I’ve got fans, fans that really love my music and believe in me and sometimes they’re all I’ve got. Besides them, nobody supports this, nobody. Damn, its true about wanting to be successful or follow a dream, you go crazy, you lose everything and everyone.

Not gonna stop. No, I’ve got something that I believe in, I believe in this so much I’m willing to die for it. Nobody can imagine what I would do just to be heard. It’s gotta be heard, it has to.

2013

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It’s been a year to remember. This year alone, my first year in this “career,” I started and completed an actual real professional collection of songs(the album to be released February 4th 2014) I performed my music in front of human beings for the first time in my life, I co-headlined an 8 city tour and got invited back to headline in those cities (shout out to Phoenix and L.A.,) and I decided to further my education in this “business” and enrolled in a commercial music business school. All this without seeking the approval of anyone. I never once asked anyone what they thought of my music or my career path. So when I say I make music the way I wanna make music I mean it. I just wanna give you something you haven’t heard before, I just wanna wow you. I’d say I accomplished a lot this year, especially for it being my first year, although most of the year was spent teaching myself photography, video editing, how to record, edit, mix, master etc.

Now 2014, 2014 is going to be the year of the Madmouth. I will have my second album out by the end of the year and it will be abstract to say the least. I don’t know if this is bad to say but I feel like my music isn’t limited by just my aggressive emotions anymore so expect pure musical epicness not bound by the laws of man.

The Villain

So I have this song called The Villain, I think its my darkest song yet. It probably doesn’t sound dark but the ideas it was based on are definitely “deep.” Basically I sometimes feel like nothing. Like my life is over and I feel like “this is it for me.” If you have never had this feeling it is depressing to say the least. I’ve always been ambitious, like to the extreme but I never found that calling, that purpose. Until I started writing songs that is.

Anyways, The Villain is about having abilities, potential, talents, dreams, and aspirations but not doing a damn thing with them. Its always bothered me seeing people just live out their lives with no drive, or no will to attain anything beyond just, what is. You know who I’m talking about, people who cant see past their current week or month or people who just don’t want to be any kind of better.

See when I’m not moving foreword I feel pretty bad. I know a lot of other people feel bad all the time and never know why. There’s so much more we as people can do, there’s so much more we can be and there’s so much more we can give.

So in The Villain I’m basically saying how could I have ended up having done nothing, when I could have been good at everything? It feels like I’m the bad guy in my own story, the villain and I could have been the hero. But even if I have lost or wasted time and I am the villain in my own story I’ll be proud of it. I’ll be proud and do whatever I’m doing with confidence and conviction no matter what anyone thinks of me and that’s how it should be.

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